My Musings on Marriage: Revelations from God
Marriage and Relationships
Rebecca Adu- Boahene
7/6/20203 min read
I have been pondering over the institution of marriage, in an attempt to understand the reason for this institution ordained by God. What I have come to understand based on personal revelations from God is that, marriage is a total mystery by God. Let me explain.
The institution of marriage in the early chapters of Genesis (Chapter 2:18) shows how important marriage is to God. It is the basis and true definition of the relationship that God has with man (His church). Marriage is the physical representation of the spiritual relationship between God (our bridegroom) and us (the body of Christ - His church, His bride). God also demonstrates His love for us through the institution of marriage.
So I was thinking – when I get married, I would have to dress and undress before my spouse. I will have to be naked before him, bath with him, make him laugh, have sex with him, feed him, pray for him, do everything to ensure his love tank is full. This seems like a lot of work and maybe it is, but this is why I need the Holy Spirit to teach me and guide me on being a good and loving wife to my future spouse. In order to be married well, you will need the help of the Holy Spirit. To be honest, He knows your spouse better than you do, and He understands the institution of marriage better than any marriage counsellor or expert on earth.
Marriage is a high calling of dying to self. You must be willing to let go of your pride, selfishness and any behaviour that doesn't reflect the love of God towards your spouse. You must understand that marriage is a calling to lay yourself down just as Christ laid down His life on the cross for our sins. As such, it is only by the grace of God that you are able to sustain a happy marriage.
Although you do not have to be perfect before you get married, it is imperative that you are ready for marriage. The onus is on you to prepare yourself for marriage if you desire to be married someday. You must prepare to die to self and live by the Holy Spirit if you want to do marriage God's way.
If you are married, ask God to grant you the grace to love your spouse daily despite the conflicts that may arise. Ask God to help you see your spouse just as God sees him or her. Ask God to humble your heart and help you to put your selfish desires away, so that you can always prioritise what is best for your spouse and your marriage. I encourage you to please stay married and let forgiveness dwell in your heart. Get rid of all bitterness towards your spouse and allow God to teach you how to love your spouse with a fresh pair of eyes and a new heart.
To those who are courting or about to wed. You must remember that as a Christian, marriage is no place for trial and error. You must discern your spouse very well before you say ‘I do’. Because who you marry will determine how far your marriage will last and whether it's going to be a happy one or a sad one. But most importantly, you must allow God to work on your heart before you walk down the aisle. Allow the Holy Spirit to work on any attitude that may be a problem in marriage. You know yourself and what needs to be worked on. If you don't, I would advise you to become more self aware, especially since you may be preparing to get married soon.
Finally, to those who are single and desire to be married someday, enjoy this waiting period. Use this time to build yourself, work on your character and develop an intimate relationship with God. Don't stop praying for your future partner. You attract what you pray for so pray strategically for what you desire in a life partner and He will answer you when the time is right (Mark 11:24) It is my hope for you that the Lord gives you the grace to wait on Him.